specific calling in passion.

In thought class today we talked about existentialism; basically the philosophy that nothing matters and there is no purpose to anything but a world full of passion. Passion that still has no purpose and passion that is aimed at various things. That mankind has nothing but passion and can choose to be courageous in pushing the passion toward something. To me it has to be courageous to beleive in a philosophy of nothingness or meaninglessness. If we have passions, who cares if there is no purpose for them?

I don’t believe any of that. I believe you and I both have a passion and we BOTH have a purpose. Jesus Christ is our purpose and the passion is used to share Him and glorify Him.

On page fifty of Called and Accountable there is a story about a women named Judith. In 24 hours she became legally blind and hard of hearing. God did not heal her, but used her to heal the pain of others. She started and pursued a passion to mobilize and serve those with dissabilities. She was able to motivate the town council to make the city of Phoenix more accessable to those in need of special help. She worked with Christian publishers to translate books into brail, A language the fingers can read for those who’s eyes dont work.

What a blessing it was that God used Judith, not in her healing but in her disability to serve others. I think God has given me trials or allowed hardships so that I may learn to lean wholly on Him and trust in no other than the great I-AM. It is He alone who satisfys and He alone who is able to turn what seems like tradgedies into blessings. Praise God for death. It helps us see eternity more clearly and pain to feel joy more deeply.

you only love as well as you love the ones you love the least.

welll shouuuuuuute. I feel like #abigfail if you ask me.

I thought I loved really well until I heard this. I was broken of my sinfulness, of my conditional love. I love people well who love me well back. I have a very very very hard time loving (especially girls) who don’t love me back. I think I am entitled to friendship and to respect. I think I’m entitled to at least a good attitude. *side note. I often think those who think they are above others NEED to respect me. I want respect from those who don’t respect me the most and usually get bitter when I think someone is cool and they don’t reciprocate the feelings. How selfish is it that I demand love from those who are not required to love, let alone even like me.

How can I grow in not just showing love but being love? I’m convinced there is only one answer…..

Meditate on the definition of love…. JESUS CHRIST.

Gods perfect timing

Upon reflection of the last fews years (I became a whole-heartedly follower of Jesus June 3rd, 2009) I’ve realized that Christ has been sactifying me in humility, preparing me for this season. He has showed me more and more about His nature and Character of surrendering Himself to the Father so that the Father’s purposes would be made known and manifest through Jesus.

This last spring, while at YWAM I found out the night of the soccer banquet I would not be captain for the upcoming season. As a senior this fall, I am thankful for the preparation God did in my heart to lead without a title. I have been humbled and sanctified through suffering, through trials and testing of my dedication and faithfulness to the calling as a leader without the position and respect of being the captian of the 2011 Northwestern Womens soccer team.

I am thankful for the trails and tests, although very difficult, because I have had the gracious opportunity to witness the joy in sanctification of younger girls through my example.

Praise God for his timing and holiness, even when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its NOT about you, it’s about His eternal glory.

time invested

soccer: 26  hours this week

sleep: 46 hours

homework: more than 25 hours

class: 12 hours

eating and fellowship: 16-18 hours.

ministry: 12 hours

nannying: 3 hours

driving: 4 hours

church: 3

hours piddling.. hanging out.. wasting.. 7

I feel like I accounted for my weekley hours pretty well, but 7 hours is a lot of time wasting.. get ready for things and/or hours unaccounted for. How many of these things were time invested in eternity? I could justify soccer as glorifying to God through work ethic, Godly example, through joy or even through team bonding and investing in others; Same with church and class. But how much of that class time was I distracted by texting or thinking about other things. How much of the time I spent getting ready for the day was in vanity? How much of spending time with others was wasted on checking duties off a ministry list? Do I pour into those around me because I love Jesus and therefore I am truely loving them well?  Or do I simply love them to boost my ministry resume/ to boost my leadership skills/ to gain the respect of younger girls/ to look and feel smart as I lead these women?

Am I really loving them or am I just loving myself?

People live forever… and like the Blackaby’s said, “Time invested in people has eternal significance.” I think I really need to evaluate the time I spend trying to pour into younger girls because if I’m not loving them wholly by spending the time as an overflow of gratitude for what Christ has done for me then outwardly I may look like I’m loving them, and they may feel loved but I’m not glorifying Jesus if there is pride and selfishness in my heart. It would be better to step back for a week to evaluate then pretend I am loving them well by throwing something together for discipleship group.

I want to be a better steward of my time by not wasting it on piddling around campus hopeing to run into certain people or by being careless and not planning time effectively.

called and accountable

Why does God call us? What does called even mean? Generally I want to believe and say that God calls us all as believers to pursue righteousness and make disciples of all nations. Now, does he call us specifically? or maybe intentionally specifically?

I think yes! I think we all have a specific calling it just takes time to figure it out. Stated in Called and Accountable, “This was the Father’s way and is still the Father’s way in each of our lives when we believe in His son, Jesus Christ. The father calls us to His son and gives us to Him. Jesus is still entrusted with recieving us from the Father and giving us eternal life (John 17:2-3). He continues teaching and guiding each believer, molding the believer as the Father has intructed him until each knows the Father and responds to Him. Just as the early disciples experienced a relationship with Him by responding to His call immediately and totally, the more fully one responds, the more God uses that individual to go with Him and His risen son on a redemptive mission to the ends of the earth.”

Is that exciting or what?! God is calling each one of us! The more and faster we respond the bigger things we get to do for his kingdom. The more someone loves you, and earns your trust.. the more you trust them with something. God isnt going to give you crazy and big things right off the bat to do for his kingdom- you have to earn and prove that you will be obedient to the logical and small things first. Welllllll………….. LETS GET LISTENING!