conviction

One of the reasons I know Jesus has changed my heart is because there is evidence of conviction. Over the last 3 years Ive had conviction about small seemingly insignificant things. Im going to tell you a few of them, as you read them i challenge you to think and process through your daily life. If the Holy Spirit has not challenged you to life a life of purity in light of the law, question if Jesus has really come into your heart and made you new.

I don’t say these things because Im trying to say Im better than anyone, I say these things because last week I was challenged to examine my heart and mind to see if I really hate sin and LOVE the Lord my God with ALL my heart, soul, mind and strength. I was asked if I hate sin purely because I dont like being broken and dont like facing the consequences of my sin or if I hate sin because I have hurt my creator. In Psalm 51:4 David says, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.”

Do I think that way? I want to.. So im going to confess…

One day, as I was walking into chapel at school with a water bottol in my hand and a nature valley granola bar, I saw the auditorium door had a foot and a half by a foot and a half sign on it. You know what it read? “NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE AUDITORIUM PLEASE” I saw this sign the fall of my junior year.. do you know how many times I’ve walked through those doors before that? Every school day since I was a freshman, I’ve never read it before. I finished my granola bar as I walked through and thought.. “Im not spilling anything.. it’s fine” But it continued to eat at me. I no longer could do it.. I either finish my drink and food before going in or put it away into my bag. I must confess I’ve broken it a number of times this fall because I didnt have a water bottol and would bring a large cup of water to chapel.. BUT I always felt really bad about it. I’ve never spilled but I still feel convicted. This morning, I wanted to treat my best friend so I told her if she got up for chapel (as a senior she doesnt have to go) that I’d go get her Caribou. Right before I sent the text I felt convicted because I knew getting it for her for chapel ment I would break the rule, and I would be encouraging her to break it as well. Neither of us spilled or made any mess this morning but as I sent the text I felt guilty, as I rode my bike to Caribou I felt guilty, as I purchased the drink I felt guilty and as I walked into chapel I felt even worse. No one knew how I felt and probably no one cares.. because Im sure the rule is in place so that things dont get spilled…But I knew and God knew…

I also broke another rule this morning, I broke a law actually. As I texted Bekah.. I was driving. I knew that was wrong as I sent it but selfishly I didn’t want to wait. I was fearful that If I waited it would be too late for her to get up and get ready for chapel. Which was actually a lie. I knew I would get back to roseville by 830 from applevalley and the “fear” was totally illogical because chapel was at 9:55 and bekah takes an hour to get up and get ready each morning.. if I had waited till 8:30 she’d still have plenty of time to get up and ready. I didnt crash.. I may have swerved a bit but I didnt hurt anyone.. Except God. I sinned against Him and severed the ties between me and Him. Jesus was able to command things like healing and the waves to calm because he had PERFECT communion with the father. He listened and acted perfectly according to God’s will because he had never severed the ties with sin. I sinned multiple times this morning by neglecting to obey.

Those are just 2 examples of many small things that probably don’t hurt anyone but myself. I want to be a light in this world, but to shine bright for Jesus, it starts with my own heart.

I love you all, hope you are doing well. thanks for reading, send me an e-mail if this encouraged you or you have any thoughts. I’d love to pray that we are effected by the small things in life, because living with integrity matters. Don’t feel weird or anything reading this. I like to know when ppl are interested even if weve never talked or havnt in a long time. I’d love to hear from you

Samm  ( dearsamm@gmail.com)