So.. at one point earlier in this semester a friend of mine pointed out sin in my heart that was very hard to hear, getting the dirt in my closet exposed by the very person I least wanted to see it. I was embarassed and felt as though my dignity went out the window.

As a result a very very close friend of mine whom I thought the world of, trusted deeply (maybe a little too much) and cared a whole lot about, id say my closest guy friend, i lost. We stopped talking and were no longer sharing part of our lives with one another.

just over a month after this happened I was at a leaders time with the ministry I’m involved with for a worship night and Paul Poteat, (who is on staff at the U of M) came and shared a story with us that absolutely rocked me.

He told us about his friends’ neice who was getting married.. and on the night of her wedding, beween the ceremony and the reception, at that point, her now husband died in a car accident.

What do u do with that? All the wedding presents.. the honey-moon tickets and vacation plans.. the new house.. do u return it? everything at that point was about to start this new life. think about this for a moment…how would you feel/ handle this?
















We started praying and as I thought about how much it hurt to lose my friend, whom Id only known for 6 months, I started bawling.. I thought to myself, God how do you understand and sympathize with us in this? Jesus never was romantically involved with anyone. He never had emotional connections like we do!

But then God revealed something to me..

The trinity;  God the father, the son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are in perfect communion in heaven. They love eachother fully and perfectly. Which we cant because we are sin-trodden, so first we dont know what thats like and second, Jesus gave up that perfect communion to be on earth, and then to DIE for us. and not only did he die for those who forsake him… lie to him, cheat on him.. He endured total separation from the one he loves (God the father) He GAVE UP his perfect loving relationship for me… ‘

He knows how I feel… and he did that for me. Jesus gave up his love for me..

would I give up the love of my life for someone who routinely hurts me? absolutely not.

God gave up his son, the love of his life for me, who continually sins against him.


the day is bright and beautiful even in the fog

you know sometimes i wonder what it is that makes us try to find satisfaction in things we know will not fulfill us. its like this stupid expectation we scenarioize in our minds. I expect the ideal and it often throws me off. so weird.

last night i execpted the very thing the Lord very clearly told me not to pursue. I still did, and it failed me. Go figure. God always knows better, and we know better when his word says other wise. Why do we still pursue it?

lets find joy in this:

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” hebrews 11 something.. 3 maybe?

set your mind on eternity. its far more realistic than this world and and far more satisfying than this earth ever will be.