A Beachside Sunday Morning

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A week ago I came back to MN from sunny California. It was a 100 degree difference for two of the 8 days I was on vacation. I got to visit Tanya my best friend who is actually my aunt. ( she’s my age, so she’s kinda like a cousin, but lived with my family in high school, so more like my sister.) She had just gotten back from Uganda which was an unbelievable experience for her, of course nothing like she had imagined. The Lord taught her and showed her things totally foreign to her previous understanding and revealed things that wereflip flopped from her expectations. I was grateful to see her and catch up after being apart for 6 months but also for the 2 days I spent all by myself. I was able to read, process and discover more of who I am and where I am going. 

I still can say that I have no clue. The more I learn about God, the more I realize i know nothing. The more I learn about myself, the more I think I’ll never get myself. The more I learn about life, the more confusing it becomes.

Im thankful for the simple joys such as Starbucks lattes and old-broken sandals from “The Old City”. I am thankful for quiet morning surfers and the soft crashing of the waves under the sparkle of the dawning sunlight. I’m thankful for nice cameras to capture the memories but especially for the Creator of the Universe coming to earth to make a way for me to be with Him forever.

I want to be in the Middle East SOOOO bad. I want to get on a plane yesterday and be among those who need to hear about real peace. Their lives are crying out for joy. 

I still don’t know when I will be able to go, I don’t know when I will be able to pay off my loans or when ill finish the partner development process. I don’t know when I’ll finally be among the those i love but I DO know the God who provides all those things and sustains the hearts of those who are searching. I know He is faithful and I know He is more committed to the nations knowing Him than I ever could be. And THAT is what I am most thankful for.  

healer.

Today I’m seeing more and more how Jesus heals through the hard things. Like in the song Healer by Kari Jobe or the song “laura story-blessings” when she says:

What if blessings come through raindrops, what if healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to draw you near? what if trials of this life are mercies in disguise?

I’m encouraged to know that hurting is never hopeless and its not for nothing. Jesus died to take my pain away. This pain on earth is not an end. There is light at the end of the tunnel. even when it feels like my feet may fail.

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You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Oceans- Hillsong United